1. Go see the venue early- Picking a venue is one of the very first decisions that will be made. It will also represent the largest investment you make as well ( yes, I know that college and her whole life was more...). Since it is an early stage it is a great time to get involved. It is a chance to share the moment with your daughter and also to get a feel to what direction she (and her mom) are going. Try to encourage your daughter to hold off on a "date" until she finds a venue that she loves and it is available. We see a lot of brides that get stuck on a date (10-10-10 as an example) and end up going crazy trying to find a place they like.
2. Listen to her ideas on what type of wedding she wants to have. Listen to her details. You are hoping to learn what is important to her. This is not to trick her or influence her. It is simply to learn a little more about her heart and desires for that day. There will come a time in most weddings where sacrifices and decisions will have to be made in order to stay on budget. It would be nice for you to know up front what her intentions are. It will help you help her; make better decisions.
3. Get on the same page with your wife- This is a good time to get in synch with your daughters mom. Your success is tied to her success. She most likely has been waiting a very long time for this moment. You can help and make this is a great experience. (Note: If you are divorced this is still a good idea if you can. If not, it is still good to call or send a note of support early in the process. (Don't worry we will have much more on divorce and its impact in the future.)
3. Meet the fiance's parents- My guess is you already know who they are and you have met them. This time when you meet them there is a little more at stake...and a different agenda. Getting together with the other parents is a good idea early in the process. It allows you to "get their input" early on. Yes, most likely you have decided that you are in charge and paying for the wedding. In some instances at this event the grooms parents may offer to pay. If you do not want them to participate, this is where you can thank them for their assistance but decline. If you are inclined to accept it would be nice to know this early. They many have other input such as: they have an unusually large family, certain wedding traditions, seek your input on the rehearsal dinner, family issues such as step parents, etc., dates that are bad for them. Getting the grooms family input early is a winner.
4. Start asking around other more experienced "Father of the Brides". We are out there in great numbers. Everyone has a story and everyone has a bit of advice. Start with your father in-law. That should be good for a laugh or two. If you love your daughter (and I assume if you are reading this you do...) then talking to other men who love their daughters and gave them away will benefit you.
No comments:
Post a Comment