The "other entrance"

Many of our blogs have focused on the "front chapel doors" and the beginning procession of the wedding. There is another procession going on. Less participants,virtually 100% male, and with a lot less fan fare- the grooms entrance. It's less fanfare because it is from a "side door"; many people miss it because they are focused on the bridal procession and let's face facts; it is not the bride. I figured we might want to shed some light on the "other entrance".

From the back of the chapel you see grandparents, parents, bridesmaids, ring bearer, flower girl and of course; Dad and the bride. Lot's of scurrying around, make-up checks, flower positioning, proud "grandmother smiles" when being escorted by her favorite grandson and tears-lots and lots of tears. Mom is either just about to break out and cry (but she usually does not), many of the bridesmaids tear up, unfortunately the ring bearer and flower girl-depending on their age- are the most likely to cry. Dad's are doing everything humanly possible not to cry. (Either you are a crying Dad or not. There is no middle ground here. I fought it.)The bride for the most part does not cry; (she and the groom usually wait till the vows) but she can tear up after she looks at her Dad one last time.

Over at the groom's entrance, things were a little different. Actually much different. Only three types over there:the pastor/officiate, the groomsmen and the groom .

The officiate is by far the most serious of the bunch. He is reminding the groom of where to go and when. He also offers a hearty congratulations and usually a comment about "not taking more than an hour or two for the ceremony". That usually gets a laugh from the groom.

The groomsmen are usually a pretty long line of guys. At our location www.piazzainthevillage.com, that line can stretch back to the groom's suite...where the TV is. So the end of the line is either watching the end of a sporting event or checking out the chapel cameras and watching the wedding. Next is the group talking about one of two things: how miserable they are in their tuxedos or everything and anything but the wedding.  Yes, it ranges on all subjects. No nerves, no stress and no tears.  There may be a conversation of hoping they do not trip, trying to remember the name of the bridesmaid they are walking with or how hungry (or thirsty) they are while hoping they can make it till dinner. These conversations though are pretty rare. Conversations are about everything but the wedding.

Finally it is the groom. The star (one of the stars...) of the show.  Usually the groom looks great. He has most likely just gotten back from walking his mom down the aisle and has scurried back into position. So a little breathless with one of two looks on his face. Mostly it is a sort of "deer in the headlights" look-resolute yet with a healthy dose of fear in his eyes. The other look is someone that has their game face on. Not alot of smiling but focused on the most important day of their life. He is usually talking to the best man. After a couple of fist bumps, maybe even a hug you would think there would be silence while they wait. Instead they move right into conversations about how much they will drink afterwards, their favorite college football team or the love life or lack thereof of the best man. In other words, the men while away their time talking about and doing the same things they always do. Let me be clear. The groom is ready, focused and really anxious to "get this started". It's just that guys seem to deal with the nerves and emotions much different than the "other entrance" of the chapel.

They then proceed out into the chapel; people glance at them and then turn their attention to the back of the chapel.

My perspective is that the "girls" wedding begins when they stand outside the doors of the chapel it is "game on". For the guys, including the groom; "game on" happens when they actually see the bride. Not just the groom but all of them. If you watch that seems to be when it clicks for them. I know it is hard to watch both the bride and the groom. Here is a hint: At the Piazza when the doors open the bride and Dad are standing still; they then take a step and stop again at the doorway. If you think of it; steal a glance at the groom. Pretty cool look on his face! It is definitely worth the glance. Then just follow his eyes back to what put that smile on his face...

Whichever entrance to the chapel they take; everyone ends up in the same place, at virtually the same time and with the privilege to share with the bride and the groom the most important day of their life.