Christine and I

Christine and I
Father & Daughter

Friday, April 22, 2011

Your words

If you are a Father of the Bride at some point people will want to hear from you. Many Dad's are okay paying the bill, walking the aisle and even dancing the Father/Daughter dance. Many wish to draw the line when it comes to "welcoming folks" or having to make any sort of speech. Odds are pretty good you will be speaking.

There are two points that are pretty well known (not including your required... Who gives this bride? responsibility) where you have an opportunity to say something. These are at the rehearsal dinner and at the reception.

Usually at the rehearsal dinner it is a very relaxed opportunity with very close family and friends. Everyone speaks yet like the entire event your words really do stand out. It is a great time to share stories, funny moments as well as expressing your love and affection for your daughter. I could almost say "anything goes" however I would leave it to your daughter's friends to embarrass her or create some awkward moment.

The other time is at the reception. I would say that 50 to 75 percent of the time the Dad of the Bride (usually he is the one that paid for the wedding/reception) will make some opening comments. These are usually very short but the most successful ones have the following in them:

1. A welcome to the grooms family and also to your family and friends.
2. A special thanks to any grandparents of the bride and groom that are there.
2. Say something nice or funny about the groom. Welcome him into your family.
3. Acknowledge the brides mom and thank her for her effort.
4. Say something sweet and nice about your daughter
5. Encourage everyone to have a good time.
Note: This is usually not a time to offer a toast. You usually speak after they have had their first dance and prior to the meal.
Note 2: It is okay to have a "cheat card" or something to remember your subjects.

That's it. Obviously it is your wedding so you can add or delete from this list but this will pretty much cover it. In many instances the groom and bride may say something as well. You may want to tell your daughter that you would like to welcome everyone after she has her first dance.

I would be remiss if I did not tell you that this is not the most important words you can have at your daughters wedding. There is another more special time and that is right before she goes down the aisle.  Hopefully you have read my earlier blogs and know to kick everyone out of the bridal suite prior to the aisle walk and make sure you have some alone time with her. It may only be two or three minutes (At the Piazza it is very cool because you can actually watch the wedding with her as everyone goes down the aisle.) but they can be really special. It is just you and her and she is about to do the most important thing in her life up to that moment. For you it will be a moment that you will never forget. Your daughter is getting married! Have some words to tell her; encourage her, tell her you love her, pray with her, make her laugh. You will not want the moment to end.

Make it special for her. Remember on this day; your words do count.

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